It’s been a long time…

It’s been 5 years since I have felt the desire to write anything…and now I feel like I have so much to say but where do I start??

I feel like I am always in a state of re evaluation…which really sucks when it comes down to it because it means I’m never just satisfied…with life, with my job, with my abilities…it is something I am working on but just when you think you are getting it there is a major set back.

So in 5 years what have I learned?

  • I have learned to be quiet.  My voice is not the most important one and sometimes it’s good to be quiet and just listen.
  • I have learned to be careful,  I’m more careful about who I allow to be a significant player in my life.  Not just anyone is trusted…which is sad in some ways and really good in other ways.
  • I’ve learned to just take things at face value,  sometimes life just sucks and that is reality, other days life is wonderful and I try to enjoy those days.
  • I’ve learned not to compare myself to everyone else (especially that type A personality),  my personality has certain limitations which also limits the type of people who want to be my friend…that is ok!
  • I’ve learned that being real is a valuable asset and hiding behind a facade of perfection is not what Jesus would want for me.
  • I’ve learned that I am extremely flawed and that in my imperfection is where God can do his best work and I need to just let him do it.

My favorite verses lately come from 1 Cor 13:If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

So today, the only striving to do is to NOT to be the clanging symbol and to be real enough that people can see Christ’s love in me.  Nothing else really matters


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