I get these great little devotional’s from Max Lucado every morning, & this morning this particular devotional struck me;
“I know those I have chosen.” John 13:18
Would you choose a wanted murderer to lead you out of bondage? Would you call upon a fugitive to carry the Ten Commandments? God did . . . Called his name through a burning bush. Scared old Moses right out of his shoes!
The reassuring lesson is clear. God . . . uses people to change the world. People! Not saints or superhumans or geniuses, but people.
My battle is constant & it is based on this lie I have bought into “I am not someone God could use”. I know that Jesus Loves me, I even received a message from him through a friend of mine whose gift is prophetic about how much He loves me. He shows me He loves me in so many ways and yet…I don’t believe Him!
So if I am chosen, what am I suppose to do with that? I am just me, I love dogs more than people most days…I know most people do not understand that, especially my family, but that is my reality. I know He created me this way but I feel guilty most days that I am not more connected to the people in my life. My kids often have gotten the short end of the stick as far as having a plugged in mother. My husband definitely doesn’t get the best of me so how can I be chosen?
I know all the logical answers, but I do not believe them because if I did, I would be different wouldn’t I?
If any of you have read my testimony you know that I have chosen to live in a fantasy world most of my life. Its so much easier that dealing with the tough things…so this Journey of letting God have control is a very difficult one because relearning new habits and ways of thinking is really like starting over. I am re-examining everything, my values, my beliefs not only in who I am but in who God is. Dealing with my anger is not easy either because behind that anger is a whole list of lies I have chosen to believe about myself & about God. It’s kind of like walking around in a dark room cluttered with old furniture trying to find the light switch, often you bump into things that are in the room that you thought were gone & things you thought were there are not where they are suppose to be…
So today’s small beam of light in this dark room is in this statement alone “I AM CHOSEN”
Thanks for stopping by!