I found this incredible article by Phil Calaway in the December Issue of Focus on the Family and I just had to share it because this brought a smile to my face and it embodies exactly how Barry and I aim to raise our teenagers.
1. Remember that laughter is the best medicine.
Life can be deadly serious for a teenager. Teens are wondering whose rules to respect, whose lifestyle to adopt and who on earth kidnapped their bodies and began doing experiments. So they need the stability of a home where truth is modelled and laugther is never far away. Wholesome laughter is a testimony to our children – that God is big enough to see them through the next exam, the next relational hiccup and the next bout of acne.
And remember this: Apart from loading hand grenades, parenting teens is the world’s toughest job. So go easy on yourself. Other parents who sit in church looking happy and well-organized may also be heavily medicated.
2. Use earplugs
Last month our son turned our basement into a teenage hangout complete with a 680 volt drum set, electric amplifiers with volume controls so small no one can find them and a stereo system with woofer and tweeters. We don’t mind. We figure if our kids are going to party, we’d like it to happen about 20 feet away. The music may sound like someone throwing lawn darts through a jet engine, but we’re getting to the age where we can’t hear anyway.
3. Don’t be cool
Your teens need to know you were a teenager once – even if it was before the invention of electricity – but they don’t expect you to be cool or to know who Brad Pitt’s latest wife is. The teens I know would gladly settle for a dad or mom who is vulnerable and genuine.
4. Say the Magic Words
My teenagers have doubted my sanity at times but never my love for them. They know there’s no hour of the day or night when they are forbidden to flop on my bed and tell me their problems. I may keep sleeping, but at least they can talk. In a kick-in-the-pants world, our teens are starving for a pat on the back , a listening ear and the magic words, “Waytogo! Youdabest!”
5. Invest in Memories
Do whatever it takes to stay connected and keep communication open. Through the years we have jumped at every opportunity for a family vacation. After our family travelled together across an ocean, someone squinted at me and asked, “You took your kids?” You bet we did. I have yet to meet someone in a nursing home who regretted such an investment.
Those who are wise enough to allow their teens room to be themselves, who listen more than they lecture, who remain calm even when screaming seems a better option, will find that the teenage years are invigorating, adventurous, even rewarding.
And for those who are afraid of seeing the teenage years come to an end, don’t worry. I don’t know a single teenager who has gone in the brave new world without eventually returning home hungry and carrying a bundle of dirty laundry.”
I love it and if you have never heard Phil Callaway speak I encourage you to find a way! He is both funny and a wealth of knowledge. His books are great too!
Thanks for stopping by!