So many days times I wish I could be inspirational, and gain some new insight into how to master and gain self control. I found myself wondering this week what it would feel like not to carry this extra weight? Maybe if I could imagine it, it wouldn’t seem like such a far fetched idea! I kept thinking would I be pain free? My doctor tells me no but I keep imagining that I would be able to do so much more without so much pain. I can’t remember a day when pain was not my constant companion! I’m not saying that to gain sympathy, it’s just my thoughts of late. I don’t like my body, I don’t think I ever have, but I wonder what it would be like to be ok with this body, to be satisfied with how it looks! Would it ever be enough? I mean, I am a perfectionist so would it ever be enough? I looked back of some pictures of me in high school and I thought “why did I think I was fat then” when I really did looked pretty good? Who convinced me even then that I was fat? Often my perceptions are off, especially about myself!The last 10 years I have found myself really focused on inner beauty, developing character that would be pleasing to God but lately I am finding that the pendulum is shifting and I am caring more and more how I look for my age! There has to be some kind of balance right? For me though, what all this boils down to is one issue in the center of all these questions and it’s SELF CONTROL. Self control affects way more than just my body fat, it affects my inner beauty too. Self control and learning to let God have control in every area of my life has always been a challenge but I am finding as I surrender my will to His He is replacing my hunger for food for a hunger to be more like Him. My desire for coke zero is being replaced with a desire for the living water. He is healing something in me that I didn’t know was broken until I saw it looming in front of me like a chasm that could not be bridged. As I faced it and cried out for help, I began to see Him filling in the chasm with unending mounts of love and care, like a bulldozer shoving dirt into an empty pit until it was filled to over flowing. Now all I need to do is take the steps onto this mount of Jesus love for me and walk into victory! Yes it’s a little scary sometimes because I keep expecting the ground to give way beneath my feet but this is the promise I am holding fast to today!
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Phil 1:6
Be encouraged ladies, He is not even close to being done with us yet!
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For more ladies choosing to ” Live Well” please visit Darlene @ CWO