I am – Pt 5 – I Was

“And Moses was content to dwell with the man: and he gave Moses Zipporah his daughter. And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.”
Exodus 2: 21-22

So this week I decided to forge ahead and do two lessons in one week and I am sure glad I did….this has been something I really needed…..a confirmation from God for me on the purpose of this dry land I am walking in right now. Thank you Lisa!

Discussion Questions:

1. Have you ever found yourself ‘in faith’ yet bewildered or demoralized?

Well this feels exactly like the place I am now…..I feel both of those things.

2. Do you consider yourself content? Would you describe it as Decidedly Content or Dreamily Content?

I am trying real hard to be decidedly content right now……..I know that what I am going through right now is necessary for a time.

3. If you are not content, are there circumstances that keep you from this feeling?

I am impatient…….I want the dream/call to happen now……but I know I have allot of work to do on myself and follow God’s leading not my own will…..but it’s a really tough place to be in…..

4. Have you ever found yourself in a place where you looked back on a period of your Christian walk and believed a great opportunity passed you by?

I think I missed out on allot because I didn’t pursue my calling earlier in my life…….and now I am 40 and sometimes it feels like I am already to old for the calling I have on my life. I feel like I missed allot in my 20’s and early 30 because of my selfishness and just living for the things I wanted to get. I admire women who pursue their calling early in their life………

5. Do you ever believe your faith was stronger in an earlier time in your Christianity and find yourself floundering now?

I honestly feel that my faith is stronger now than it has ever been………there have always been periods of strength and periods of floundering for me…..but as I get older the floundering seems to be less and less…….don’t get me wrong I am not perfect…….I have allot of work to do on becoming the woman God has called me to be but I don’t question everything like I used to……I am learning to keep going and keep walking……….learning to pick myself back up and just keep walking…..

6. Can you recognize that this season may be one of great preparation instead of a period of “I Was”?

I guess I am starting to believe that this is a season of preparation but at the same time I constantly feel like time is running out for me to complete this calling God has on my life……I mean who really wants an “older” person running their music & worship dept? Those are the things I am struggling with these days…..I know it’s silly but those are my feelings today. Why would he “prepare me” for something if I was to old to complete the task ahead right? So I will forge ahead into the great unknown…. but I really can relate to Moses when he said “I Was. I was in the position to save the Egyptians. I was going to be their deliverer. I was going to do mighty things for You, God. I really was.”

Lord help me eliminate the voice of self doubt in my head that says to me “I was and now it’s to late” Help me to walk out into the purposes you have for me in confidence knowing you have it all mapped out….I just need to trust you and keep walking! Amen!


7 thoughts on “I am – Pt 5 – I Was

  1. You said, “now I am 40 and sometimes it feels like I am already to old for the calling I have on my life.” I can totally relate to that feeling, but I’ve often felt that I am too old for things, even as a teenager. At about 15 years old, I didn’t want to learn piano because I figured that I’d be old by the time I finished ten years of lessons. 😦

    40 is still young, so pursue your calling!

  2. I would like to Amen what Darlene said, you are not to old. Look how old Moses was, Abraham, Jesus. I empathize with you about dry times. I call it being in God’s waiting room. This is a time God is preparing you, I have a feeling God is going to do mighty things thru you, no matter the age! Have a blessed weekend.


  3. Your post blessed me, Sister!! (Were you in my head somehow??) I agree with Darlene, you are still young, and God is not finished with you yet!! Keep pursuing Him and His will for your life!! I will keep you in my prayers.

  4. He is faithful to complete what He has planned for your life no matter what your age! I cling to that hope! Your honesty inpsires me and gives me courage to let the real me been seen! Thanks for sharing.

  5. I’m stopping by as a late comer to the study… but wanted to say, I agree with the others & wanted to tell – you’re never to old for our heavenly Father to complete His will for your life! Be still; and know that He is God!

    http://HLJourney.wordpress.com (as I’ve moved away from my blogger account – but that’s what keeps pulling us)

  6. Sweet, sister… you are never too old to be used by God! 🙂 His timing is perfect… don’t give up! I pray that as you wait on Him, He will give you eagles’ wings to soar above the doubts. God bless you!


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