I have a confession to make……..I have always wanted to be someone who does something great! I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference……and often I have really struggled with what that all means. I mean……what can I do? I am not that important……not a movie star, don’t have millions of dollars……but my struggle is that I know that I am called to live a life of significance but I have trouble defining what that means for me. I believe that God has called me…….but how do I fit in the grand scheme of things? I work 3 days a week at my church, I have two teenagers that are my responsibility to raise…..I am a wife, daughter, sister…….but for me it’s never been enough……..there has to be something more to this life……..I mean I love my husband and kids…..I love the role I play for them(most of the time)……I like my job allot……but does that really define who I am? Recently through several events I am realising that my defination of “greatness” is distorted…..I have taken on the worlds view of greatness…..not God’s…..I have found myself in the trap that the 12 disciples found themselves in when they were with Jesus in Mark 9
33 After they arrived at Capernaum and settled in a house, Jesus asked his disciples, “What were you discussing out on the road?” 34 But they didn’t answer, because they had been arguing about which of them was the greatest. 35 He sat down, called the twelve disciples over to him, and said, “Whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone else.”
There He said it……..the only way to be significant is to serve…….and you know what I am realising that my greatest time of fulfillment are when I am serving……..it doesn’t matter where!
Am I ok with taking a back seat so that God can be glorified? I have to admit that it’s a struggle….I like to get the glory and the credit for what I have done……but on my journey toward significance God is showing me that it’s when I am the weakest……..that is when God can use me to show His power…….2 Corinthians 12:8 -10 Paul says
9 And He said to me ,“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Serving is a challenge, especially when I feel incapable of doing something God has called me to do…….and there are a million reasons I use not to serve……..Here are a few I use…….”I am to tired” “I not called to that area of ministry” and so on and so on…..
Here is the bottom line……….I am called to serve……PERIOD! It’s been a convicting week for me because I have had to let go of my pride…..pride is on of those things that keeps rearing it’s ugly head time and time again……I’ve rewritten this post twice because my pride got in the way and God convicted me of it……I am only to look at myself…..no pointing the finger at someone else…..I can only look at me and how I have failed to serve…..I am accountable for me….no one else…..
Those are my thoughts for today!