This is a post about the greatest teenagers in the World……and a few quirky things in our world!
*Disclaimer* – Please don’t try any of these techniques unless you want great kids
“When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other. ” ~Alan Alda
We laugh allot together…..and at each other.
Brandon – Mom I’m leaving, Mom – Ok, have a great day at school, I love you! Brandon – I love you to Mom!(rolling his eyes).
Cassandra – I have to go Mom, Mom – Ok have a great day at school babe, I love you! Cassandra – I love you too Mom (she plants a kiss)
My Babe is the quirkiest girl, somewhere between a tom boy & a girly girl is my baby. She is organized, Cheerful & outgoing, Bossy & Stubborn(as in I will not do it) are words I would use to describe this teenager. She is a control freak…..she must have acquired that from me…..she reminds me of stuff that needs to get done and she tends to mother everyone, she absolutely loves to babysit, she will actually plan stuff to do for each babysitting job, especially if the kids are a little older, she truly is an amazing babysitter. Most effective form of discipline is to ground her…..she needs to be social…..so take that away and she’s putty in my hands. Again with the new point system we are using……she works really hard for her points so I think it’s going to be a great thing over all.
The family is a haven in a heartless world. ~Attributed to Christopher Lasch
Know your kids currency…….The Point System I am using……
I made a list of each of their responsibilities and what day they needed to do them….
What I found is that my teenagers operate the best when they know what is expected of them at all times.
Points are given for each responsibility on the list except for the top 3 which are basic no brainer things they should do everyday (trust me if I don’t put it on the list, my boy will not do it).
Half a point for everything other than the top 3. Points are totaled at the end of the week and we keep a running total. (They usually accumulate about 25 points a week) Points can be used for youth ski trips, going out for coffee with a friend, anything that basically requires money or a sleep over which is extra work for me. Points are taken away for bad attitudes (after 1 warning), for not completing their assigned tasks by the end of the day. They can earn extra points by doing extra chores in a day that are not on their list as well…….they can also take their points and turn it into cash for their bank account.
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. ~Josh Billings
Here are the benefits to my system that I have seen so far……
2. I check the list at the end of the day so points are awarded then or taken away then. I explain the why to them the next day if there were point deducted, so no yelling at them.
3. I see the points they have accumulated and then I have no problem allowing them to have privileges because I associate points with obedient hearts & attitudes, who wouldn’t want to reward that?
Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy. ~Robert A. Heinlein
I have had many friends comment on how many chores my kids have so here is my philosophy….I am teaching my kids responsibility……..I am teaching them to be helpful…..they have ownership in how the house looks and is kept so they know how much work it is to clean up so they don’t mess it up as much ….. this works at their friends houses too I noticed……they will be more likely to help out when at someone else’s house.
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957
My biggest obstacle as a parent of a teenager is that most of the kids my kids hang out with have little or no responsibility so I am constantly battling “So & so never has to do this” “So & so can do this!” and my answer to both statements are always “I am not a parent to So & So, so therefore I couldn’t care less what they do or don’t do….I am a parent to you and I care about what kind of a person you will turn out to be…..” and I proceed to list for them all the benefits of learning to do the stuff they are doing now……(which they hate by the way). I don’t watch their every move…….I am not overprotective of them (although my husband would probably disagree with that statement) I am teaching them to be independent thinkers & workers…..but they have boundaries……I care about where they are at all times, I know their friends.
Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it. ~Haim Ginott
and a closing quote I just love……
Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. ~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family