Post No. 200 – I just can’t let it be a Wordless Wednesday!

This is the week of Valentine’s………..and Iris over at sting my heart & Sissy at The Whippoorwil Chronicles declared this as love week……so I decided that it was probably something I could do to……..thanks ladies for the idea. Here is our story……..
Barry & I met at a church we were both attending way back in 1990……I remember the first time I met him…..I thought he was really snobby……..and I was really interested in another guy from our College & Career group……..about a month or so after we first met our church had a College & Career Retreat……….it was such a great time, especially with this other particular guy I was interested in………or so I thought………over the course of the weekend Barry, another girl from our C & C group and myself started hanging out together allot. Now Barry & I debate all the time as to who made the first move but I still maintain that he chased after me……..he had to cause I was distracted with another guy. Within two weeks of that retreat Barry & I were going “steady” and I only had eyes for him. Barry has this incredible charisma, even now, he likes to laugh……..he can work a crowd…….people love his sense of humor……..these are all the things that I was drawn to when I really started to get serious about him. We dated for a year……..we were nearly inseparable and then came the night he proposed…… was at a fancy restaurant….in the dessert bowl I got my engagement ring…….but it wasn’t to much of a surprise because I had kind of been putting the pressure on to get married……our physical relationship developed to the point where I was concerned I would get pregnant. Of course being the good Mennonite girl I could not justify going on birth control because I knew what we were doing was wrong. 6 weeks after our engagement we had to tell our families that I was pregnant! This was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do because now everyone knew our sin. We were both involved in ministry at our church and we both resigned and we had to tell our Pastor. We decided to push up the date to our wedding because I didn’t want to be 9 months pregnant walking down the isle. So our wedding date got moved up from June to December 1991. I can remember vividly struggling with allot of doubt as we prepared to get married. I remember people saying to us and behind our back……..”You will never make it, you should never get married”……..but we pushed ahead anyways. Our marriage was difficult right from the start………you see I am a whiner, and I am really a selfish spoilt brat, and he is a self proclaimed chauvinist. We had stuff stacked up against us right from the start because my ideas of love were warped………and his ideas of what a wife should be were warped……… we fought allot plus we had a little baby to deal with,……soon followed another baby 14 months later. We have been to HELL and back……… me when I tell you this…………it has been a really hard road! Our kids have been through allot with us as we “grew up”……..this is the part I regret the most……..the stuff they saw……..
Ok so I am getting to the ushy gushy part……We have been married 15 years this last December and I just wanted to tell you that story so you would know how much of an accomplishment that is…….How much God had to do to get us to this point today……….there have been many time I was ready to walk out the door, to give up, but then there was this statement that kept running through my brain “I take thee Barry, till death do us part, to love, honor & cherish, for better or worse, in sickness & in health” I could go on but I think you get the just of it. So I stayed……..we struggled……but it was about 8 years ago God began to convict me of how I could change, that if I would work on me, HE would take care of Barry. We were both raised in Christian homes and some people seem to think that this should make things easier because we should know better but they don’t………we both became very complacent in our walks with God. God was not in the center of our marriage………and so I just decided one day……at one of the lowest places in my life that God needed to be first……..period……..and I sometimes I still struggle with my selfishness……but God has taught me that He is my sustainer & provider…… instead of looking outside of my marriage for fulfillment I started to look into it………..I started to be thankful for the man He provided for me………..So here is goes……all the things I love about MY MAN…………my guy is hands down the only one I run to…………He still turns me on………..He loves to take care of me and the kids…..He makes me laugh………..He is an amazing Father

………….He loves his time with the kids even when they were babies…….my Man would get up during the night when I was not breastfeeding and feed the babies and rock them back to sleep, just to let me sleep a little more. My man can fix anything……….if it’s mechanical, wiring, computer…….you name it he can fix it!
He is getting to be a pro in the kitchen………he puts up with my PMS, he laughs at my jokes…… life with this man will never be boring that is for sure. There are not many men who would put up with my animal fetish……..but he does……..(at one time I had 4 dogs, 2 cats, a fish tank & 2 birds, 2 goats & 2 rabbits & chickens, geese & ducks, now it’s only 3 dogs, 2 birds & big fish tank,) he helps me look after them without complaining…………He is an amazing provider……..He goes to work every day doing a job that is physically demanding and works hard……..all day……..He hardly ever calls in sick. I am learning that Love is not a feeling………it’s a daily decision to Love him………faults & all. And as I learn to submit my will, not to my husband, but to my heavenly Father, He continues to put the pieces of our broken marriage back together because He is teaching me to be a servant…… give unselfishly of myself to my husband & my marriage. My husband said just recently that the only reason we are still married today is because of me and my refusal to give up on him & our marriage, that is extremely flattering, but I don’t think that it is true………My husband no matter how bad our fights got never ever threatened to leave me. He didn’t want to even talk about separating when I did want to leave………..God is changing my heart, my attitude……..and as result my husband has done some changing too…..God has kept his promise to me that as I continue to seek Him, follow Him……..He will be the one to look after Barry….not me!………I truly desire to be a Proverbs 31 Woman……..I know it will take some time but I am getting there!

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

I Hope that each of you have an amazing “Love week”!

7 thoughts on “Post No. 200 – I just can’t let it be a Wordless Wednesday!

  1. That’s alot of words for a normally wordless wednesday 🙂 But I enjoyed reading them….thanks for sharing your story. God has stuck by you through thick & thin, as He has promised. I’m so glad it had a happy “ending” (or beginning??!) where you realized that God needed to be #1. Blessings to you today Crystal…have fun celebrating all of the people you love!!

  2. thank you for sharing that story!! it has been a rough road for you guys – but i’ve seen you together, and it’s obvious how much you love Barry & visa versa!! it’s a testimant to what God can do in a marriage when we give Him the chance!

  3. I love, love, love this post, Crystal! What a wonderful testimony. It’s amazing to hear of other couples’ journeys and how far they have come. It’s inspiring!

  4. Thanks for sharing your story!!
    That was wonderful to hear.
    I know for a fact that no marriage is perfect, but I always say it’s “perfect” for us.
    We’ve had many trying times as well in the beginning but I believe if you need the tough times to make your marriage stronger.
    Here’s to love!!!
    Happy Valentines Day!

  5. Thank you, Crystal for sharing your journey in your marriage. I am too convicted that we need to look first God to change us in order to change our marriage. He needs to do the work for inside out. One of my favorite ‘love’ chapters of the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13. I know that many couples choose it for their marriage vows. But reading it and meditating over it helps me to remember what love truly is.

    Blessings on your Valentine’s day and always…

  6. aww! God will continue to use your testimony to show His faithfulness and mercy to others. My hubby and I both come from sinful pasts as well, and it is sooo hard to walk through the consequences that it brings into your marriage, but God is SO FAITHFUL, in healing and restoring ‘what HE has joined together (let no man seperate!!)’
    Thanks for sharing your story and being honest. It’s in the deepest darkest places that God’s love and restoration truly prevail. I’m so glad He did it for you and your marriage.
    Happy Valentines Day to you too. Blessings

  7. Thanks for sharing your story instead of your picture being wordless. God is good! It is awesome what God can do in our lives when we just ask him to help us where we have messed up. He is Awesome! Thank again, for sharing your love story!

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