FRUSTRATION

There are several things that are frustrating me right now……..I hesitate in sharing it……I have really realized how much I am blogging for others and not myself. I don’t know when my focus shifted, when suddenly it became so important to get comments? Now I feel like I am competing with a whole group of people for comments…….when I first started the blogging thing I did it for myself to put words to my life. Now I don’t know anymore. I don’t talk allot about my kids here……..they are teenagers and they read my blog soooooo therefore I just don’t put stuff on here that they potentially read and be hurt or embarrassed about and frankly with teenagers it’s what they feel the most about their parents so I just avoid the topic. Most bloggers who read my blog(aside from my mother & my family) I have met through blogging are great people with toddlers, who’s posts are allot about their kids (which is fine) but I am starting to feel like there is something wrong with me because I don’t post more about my kids, I don’t carry a camera wherever I go….. I am one of the oldest bloggers in this blogger world with teenagers and sometimes I feel out of place in this world of young people.(this statment is not meant to make anyone feel bad so I hope you don’t get that impression) I frankly have realized that my life is really not that interesting, and I really did just start this for myself. This was not going to be about my kids or husband but the journey I am on with them and God. Maybe that makes me narcissistic and self centered, but at this point that is the whole reason I started this blog in the first place. That is partly why I decided not to make my blog private (the other reason being that my family has troubling logging on to google to read my blog), I don’t share allot of personal info about my kids or pictures of them, yes I have critics but that doesn’t matter because I am not here to please people. I am on a journey with God, I care about my friends, my children, my husband but I don’t post allot about them. My posts are and will be more so in the future just about me, the journey I am on with God, and if you don’t want to comment, well that is ok. I am in the process of getting my thinking back on track regarding blogging…….maybe there will be less posts……….I may give up blogging altogether……I don’t know yet but God is convicting me to be myself and not try so hard to be someone I am not.
Believe this though, I value each of you who allow me into your lives through blogging. I love reading about your kids & your walk with God. Thanks for taking the time to visit me here!
Blessings

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5 thoughts on “FRUSTRATION

  1. Sometimes God will take away the things that are distracting us from Him. I’m finding myself being taught the same lesson in my own walk. As soon as I start leaning on others to fill my void or find my purpose or identity, He’ll strip it away from me. It’s hard, but for our own good.
    I think that as soon as we post something, there is a small very quiet temptation (for ALL of us because we’re ALL human) to “expect” a certain amount of comments, or to expect certain people in particular to comment. We need to use wisdom and maturity when blogging, otherwise it’s just another thing that belongs to the enemy.

  2. Your blog is YOUR blog. Not anybody elses. It’s not a competition Crystal!! Unless you make it one. I know you have made a few comments on my blog about how many comments I get. I can’t help it…it just happens and I don’t post only to see how many comments I can get. Everyone has their own reasons for keeping up with their blog. Yes, I often feel uneasy or hesitant to post so much about my daughter – “what will other people think?” or “will they think I take too many pictures?” But it is MY space to write about whatever I want. It’s one of the ways I keep a journal of our life because it’s quick & easy for me to do. I would never make time to scrapbook or sit down and write with a paper and pen so this is what works best for me at this point in my life. I know I get judged but what I write, I know that the things I write about (or don’t write about) sometimes make it seem like I live a peachy, perfect, stress-free life (which isn’t accurate!), but again, it’s my space to do with what I want. People may think I write about our family too much and that I don’t write enough about my relationship with Jesus, but for me, it’s not always the place to do it. My relationship with Jesus is between me & Him. I don’t always feel like I need to (or want to) talk about my personal relationship with Him on my blog. Most of the time I’d way rather talk in person to my family or friends about the important stuff…and carry on an actual conversation with them. The people who actually care deep down inside how I am doing and where I am at and don’t just come to my blog to read what’s going on and then leave it at that.

    I guess what I’m saying is, it’s good that you are re-evaluating why you are blogging in the first place. If you want this to be the spot where you journal about your journey with God, you go for it. You shouldn’t feel pressured or stressed. I love that you are part of this blogging community. I enjoy reading what you have to say and I have never thought about the fact that you are “older” than me. You are a woman of God, a wife and a mom too – one who I have been blessed by. Whatever you decide to do with this space, I pray that God will lead you and continue to mold you into the woman he wants you to be.

  3. I’m glad to have you back blogging. I also was unable to get to your private site. I enjoy reading your posts, even though I rarely comment. Janet

  4. We all blog for different reasons. I started mine because I hardly knew anyone out here and it was a way to connect to others out there in the world, even if I didn’t know them personally… and to just write about my days and thoughts…whether anyone read it or not was not an issue.

    I’ve always said…take my blog for what it is. If you enjoy it…great, if not, well then don’t read it…simple as that.

    I’m glad as well that your reevaluating why your blogging. Its not a competition, its not about who gets the most comments wins! It should be for yourself and for what you want it to be about. Not for anyone else. Take care!

  5. I have been browsing through the CWO Blogroll and came upon your blog. Your post captured my attention. Several weeks ago I went on Sabbatical from blogging…then I decided to bid blogging farewell. After much praying, I have returned…I think Nin said it best in her comment…”we need to use wisdom and maturity when blogging, otherwise it’s just another thing that belongs to the enemy.”

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