Ugly Betty

Well today I watched this show for the very first time and it really brought up something that I think WE need to think about. Not that I really liked the show that much but it really got me thinking…………

What is your view of beauty? Do you avoid, pick on or just plain hate people who do not fit to the World’s standard or your personal standard of beauty?
I have some fairly strong views on this so I hope I you will consider what I say before you rush to judgement. I really feel that because of the Hollywood and magazine’s that do allot of “touch ups” that our society has a distorted view of what beauty is. I think that avoiding someone is just as bad as picking on them. We don’t take a stand or we perpetuate the problem by picking on others who look different are the reasons our suicide rate is so high and is climbing daily. I believe that my children have it allot harder than I did when I was in school………the kids these days are meaner, bolder and cruel! There are several adult who are like this to but they will do whatever it takes to make others feel bad about themselves to make themselves feel better about who they are. This kind of insecurity in my opinion partially comes from Parents are do not take care of and discipline their children, they let their children rule the roost, do whatever they want and therefore create insecure children. Children need boundaries, direction and guidance in choosing to do what is right, if you don’t give that to them you grow insecurity in your children. Now before you ask the question I will answer it…….YES….I spanked my children when they were younger! I loved them enough to know that their strong wills would take over if I didn’t. I know there are allot of people opposed to spanking so I will say this….never spank when you are angry…..there are allot of alternative ways to discipline your children…….this is what worked for me. I have two very strong-willed children and we have allot of critics in our family over our disciplining methods but I really believe and take my responsibility in raising them seriously, I have made allot of mistakes in raising them but using spanking has not been one of them. They know how much I love them……because I tell them a million times a day……….but I believe they are such great kids because we discipline them…………so onto the beauty issue…..
I am no magazine cover girl……never have been…….I’ve always been chubby or “pleasantly plump” as some would say, I was alienated allot as I was growing up. My sister was always the beautiful one…..still is in some people’s view……it took me years to get to a place where I saw myself as beautiful and what bothers me most is the person who is beautiful thinks she is not which frankly just perpetuates the stero type of beauty. She is constantly worried about her looks, worried about getting older, and frankly it really hurts me that she is the way she is because she knows that she is beautiful, she just needs constant affirmation. Don’t get me wrong I care about how I look, I try to take care of myself but I do not and WILL NOT ever be so worried about my looks that I will be seeking people to constantly build me up and be constantly watching what I eat and be so parinoid all the time. I am beautiful………..and some of the reason I am fat is because I have rebelled against the standard I have always been compared to. Do I want to lose weight? Sure but I am afraid to turn out like my sister and I am sure she would say the reason she works out madly is because she doesn’t want to be fat like me………it’s an endless cycle. I love my sister………she is one of the most beautiful people I know, I just wish she knew that for herself.

I had a interesting conversation with my daughter today………she obviously does not have a weight problem. We talked about what beauty means and she said something that took me by surprise, “I will never have a weight problem” she said “because I take care of myself and do lots of sports and I think I am beautiful and so are you Mom, God just put different packages together for us, I will love you no matter what”. Wise words from a 13 year old I think. I think she hit it on the head, she takes care of herself (which I have taught her)and she already thinks she is beautiful(which I & her Dad have told her a million times) so I doubt she will ever have a weight problem………that is the key combination I think, knowledge & belief in who you are right now………needless to say I am extremely proud of the young lady she is turning out to be!

So Here is a question to ponder “what is the voice in your head telling you about your beauty?” Don’t perpetuate societies view of beauty……set your own standard! Reach out to people who would get passed over by the world because of their looks because chances are that they are the most beautiful people, inside!

We are all created unique, different and that is a good thing……….let’s celebrate our differences!


5 thoughts on “Ugly Betty

  1. What a wonderful post Crystal!!
    I know in this day and age that lots of girls have self esteem issues. Your daughter seems like she has a good head on her shoulders.
    I agree with the fact about some children with discipline problems. That is one of my pet peeves is children who are out of control and the parents don’t do anything. I don’t spank my children, but Scott has on a couple of occasions. I don’t judge anyone who does, I just have been successful in our form of discipline. It really is a family choice.
    You seem like you’re doing great with your daughter. I have struggled with self esteem issues my whole entire life. I really envy people that can look in the mirror and love themselves no matter what shape or size they are. I am just learning to accept who I am, but still I cringe when I see myself in the mirror. Don’t get me wrong, I think I have a pretty face, but my body isn’t where I want it to be.
    The funny thing is I remember being 138 pounds (when I was pregnant with my first son) and I didn’t like my reflection…
    Thanks for sharing!!

  2. Great post Crystal…there is a lot to comment about in there, but for now I will keep it short and simple. Sounds like you are doing a great job raising your kids – keep following God’s lead. You are an encouragment to me & your posts challenge me to strive to be better on this journey called life. Have a good weekend!

  3. Like Amber – i have alot of thoughts here…but won’t be able to get them all down.
    i will say that this is my biggest struggle – not always wanting to be as pretty or skinny as everyone else. i struggle huge with this. i need to remember that i am made in the image of God…that’s all that matters.

  4. Hi Crystal. (I stumbled across your blog through Amber’s) I love this post!! I have a passion for this topic as well. I have always struggled with weight. In my life time so far, I’ve lost 60 lbs, and had plastic surgery! (A breast reduction and tummy tuck!) Even though I’m not sorry I had that done, it took me that much to realize that I still didn’t feel beautiful. I’ve finally learned that beauty truly does come from within! I get sooo upset at the media for teaching otherwise. (And I work smack in the middle of the media.) My daughter is also 13, and I’ve done everything in my power over the last few years to teach her what beauty really is… as well as my son’s who also need to know what true beauty is. Yes, we do need to take care of our health, but the beauty that we need to be working towards as women of God is described in 1 Peter 3. 🙂 Thanks for your great post!

  5. This is a great post Crystal…and so true. We need to accept who we are for what God made us. But we need to also take care of ourselves as well…we are a temple, God gave us these bodies, their only on lend for a little while, we need to do our best to look after them. But there are more ways to do that than just to be vain and self concious about our looks and appearance.

    I too struggle to some degree…but really I don’t care, if someone doesn’t like me for what I look like…then they’re not worth my time. And trust me, I’ve dealt with that in my past…people not wanting to hang out with me just because I was over weight.

    I’m trying to lose weight for me, not for anyone else…I need to lose it for personal reasons and it has nothing to do with looks either…but that usually isn’t what people think of first when you tell them that you’re trying to lose the weight.

    I’m thankful too that my daughter doesn’t have a weight problem…I remember so clearly being the age she is now, and being fat, plain old fat…I thank God everyday that she doesn’t have to deal with that. But I think alot has to do with body type…if people disagree with that, then phewy on them. I was actually talking to my doctor the other day about this, and he said the same thing…we’re all built differently, plain and simple. One person can be six feet tall, and another one half a foot shorter, weigh the same amount, but the shorter one is the “overweight” one, even though they’re the one that is all muscle and in shape, where as the tall one is flabby and out of shape…but weighs the right amount according to the BMI (body mass index) scales. It makes no sense. I know I will NEVER be super slim…and thats totally ok with me, its just my reality.

    I think we all need to just do certain things for OURSELVES. Not for anyone else. I think when people start doing something just because everyone else is doing it, thats when we all start to get down on ourselves and feel that we can’t live up to the “worlds” standards. We’re not called to live up to those kind of standards. We’re called to live for God…and thats it.

    Anyways…this comment is way too long, haha. But thanks for bringing this topic up. As long as you’re happy and living your life the way it should be lived…don’t worry about anyone else. God loves us all for who we are…plain and simple.

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