Submitting my will

I have a fairly large problem………it’s called submitting…….giving up my will! It’s a problem in my marriage…….in my relationship with God!
I wish I could be like my Mother-in-law…………she is one of the most gentle quiet spirit’s I know! This doesn’t mean she is a pushover but she knows how to communicate properly so that she says what she wants to say and then leaves the decision with Dad. In the 15 years I have observed their marriage I have really grown to admire her.

Confession time…..Barry and I have gotten into a really bad routine in decision making…….I express my opinion……and because it’s my opinion Barry goes in the opposite direction. Then me being so wise, I figure it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than get permission………I know, I know…..I am hearing shocked sighs all over……….and to be honest……I am fairly shocked at myself. More and more I am really examining my integrity level………and this is just not one area I am proud of.

I really do have good intentions in being a good wife……..learning to negotiate………..not compete…..because when we compete to win there is always a loser. Marriage should be a win win situation….but often I feel in our marriage there are no winners! This is really what I have been praying about lately……… learn to give up my will………whatever the outcome and trust God to honor & bless my obedience.

Forgive me for getting personal……I hope I am not the only one who struggles with this?
I have been praying to be able to be the wife that Solomom spoke of in chapter 31 of Proverbs(message version)
10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!”

I have to confess I am a long way away from being this kind of wife and mother. Not all the things she did but the Character she displayed……….It will probably be a lifelong journey for me I learn so slowly it seems! ‘SIGH’


4 thoughts on “Submitting my will

  1. I am right there with you sweetie…
    I yell & Rod just gives in because he’s sick of being yelled at…that’s not a good thing.
    I’m learning to be submissive – not to the full extent of the word, but to the point where I trust him to be the head of the household – and that means that sometimes the decisions should be left up to him – depending on the circumstances of course…
    not an easy thing!!!!

  2. I’m certainly not a Proverbs 31 kind of woman, but I have to say I am happy in my marriage and we have a successful marriage. We both make decisons together. We have a traditional marriage to a sense, but there are some untraditional aspects to it.
    I think the key is finding what works for the both of you.
    I wouldn’t want to change anything about our marriage.

  3. hey crystal i just read your blog after you had posted a comment on mine..and i find it to be neat that we kind of are going throught the same things…but if i remeber correctly we both went through marriage encounter right? so for me i jsut have to stick to the tools they give you in makeing the marriage not just medium warm…but SCORCHING HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. you are not alone for sure!! i understand doing the right thing does require you to give up your rights. and it seems that when you are dead to self, your spouse can poke you with sharp objects and it doesn’t phase you, CAUSE YOUR DEAD!

    i truly truly believe that this is the way to God doing miracles in your marriage. It’s not about communication, or compromising, or finding ways for you BOTH to be “happy”
    this is not a contract, as some people see it, it is a convenant, where you have GIVEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE for this person and God’ purposes in this union. Marriage is a demonstation of Christ and the church and by you actively submitting your will, you are modelling the church, and Barry will be in postion to hear greater when your in line.
    I can’t believe the growth in your marriage, even tho it does’t seem like it, since i’ve met you, you have drastically changed!
    your heart is totally different

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