Breaking up is hard to do……..

Ok I know what all of you are thinking………no I am not leaving my husband, even though I do think about killing him every once in a while I feel it is my job to torture him for the rest of my natural life……………. so he does not get off that easy. (I am joking of course)
Last night I attended the last board meeting I will attend at OCC……….I officially resigned my position at OCC last night and its one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am leading worship one last time on Sunday and I will resign in front of the congregation at that time. This church has been my home for more than 10 years and letting go of the comfort zone that 10 years brings is definately scarey but I believe it is the right thing to do. I don’t want to be tied to my past while I work toward my future I really don’t believe that God wants that. He wants me to trust him with my future……… first I was kind of thinking of just taking a leave of absense but more and more as I prayed about it I knew it was not right to hold on to something that God needed me to let go of. It would not be fair to my church family or even myself to keep everyone on hold while I do this internship.
I still have no answers on when the internship will start but Barry and I just decided that we will start attending this church so that we can have some time to adjust with the kids and get involved in some small groups and stuff. It is such a scarey step, I like my comfort zone and its been ripped apart in the last few months………..
I finally did get to talk to Cassandra’s teacher and hopefully we have a plan in place to get some resolution……….most of the problem lies in this school system. They know us well, we have written letters, talked to teachers, talked to the parents of the bully kids, and frankly this school does not like us at all cause we have gone right up to the district board level to try to get some resolution. Finally we moved our son to a different school because nothing changed and we got labelled as trouble makers, which is hilarious but whatever, no one at the school believed the bullying was going on even though we told them it was, it was always just Brandon’s fault, until the day he came home with large bruises all over his chest from being pinned down and his skin being twisted until there were bruises….that was the last straw for us. We have fought the system and lost with our son and I just don’t want to have to do it all over again at the expense of my child’s self esteem, we waited almost to long with Brandon. I did get to have a very good talk with my Daughter on the weekend about how her value does not lie in whether this girl likes her or not but in the fact that God created her unique and perfect. I told her not to let this girl have power over her, she doesn’t have to believe all the things that this girl says to her, she has the power to not allow herself to believe the mean things that are being said. We talked about how to handle different situations and how bullies get more power because we give it to them. That people like this need to make you feel small to feel big so I told her not to back down next time she was called names and just get smart with her……….and to remember that I loved her and would always be on her side.
I asked her teacher if she believe Cassandra when she said she was being bullied and she said she did believe her so I hope that in itself will make a difference compared to the last time. She said she would keep in touch with me, but at this point I will just have to trust God with it!
Yes just call me Mamma Bear……..thanks for the encouragement carebear!


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