The Legacy of a Great man

Today was Dwayne’s memorial and it was a sad day and yet it was a day of rejoicing.
So many good things said about him…….so many good people who I haven’t seen in years since Bible School days. Shauna in particular was really good to see……..she was my roomate in my last year of Bible school and we had an amazing time together, and she is Dwayne’s sister.
So many bitter sweet memories………..good and bad! I realized that there are many things that I must change in my life to get the results I want to get out of my life. Somethings that were said at the memorial that impacted me “Dwayne didn’t understand everything that was going on but he trusted the Character of his loving father”, “Dwayne invested everything he had in people, he felt that all the tears, heartbreak were worth the investment for lost souls that came to know their loving saviour”
Some of those kinds of things make me wonder if I invest myself in the people like I should. My church family……… I allow myself to be vunerable so that people see me as authentic. I want so badly for my church to experience passion for Christ but I as a leader must go there first. A part of leadership to means that there is someone following you and you know I really don’t know if that is happening in my church. Maybe a part of that is my fault because I am not working enough on the passion for myself. One of the laws of leadership is that you cannot lead people somewhere you have not gone first. Passion comes from within and I desperately want, no need to regain my passion and then determine if my leadership is still something that Works at Osler Community Church. Don’t get me wrong, I love this church…….the people in it……I have given up allot for this church and the people in it. I believe in the work we are doing….how important our ministry is but somehow my passion for it is gone……..or maybe it’s just distracted…maybe its still there I just need to rediscover it. I don’t know….I wish God would just hit me over the head with an answer!
Well I should go to bed……..I am really tired, its been a hard day and emotionally draining!


One thought on “The Legacy of a Great man

  1. I’m glad that you were able to attend Dwayne’s memorial. My mom said that it was very nice, long, but very nice. I said, “Did you think it was going to be short?”. And of course she said no.
    I hope that you will be able to stay in contact with Shauna, she was probably very happy to see and “old friend” there to support her an her family. Her family has had a rough time, I can’t imagine losing not only one, but two children at such young ages, and both so suddenly. Shauna will need you as a friend more now than ever, I encourage you to stay connected with her.
    Thanks for the kind words you commented on my blog, I really appreciated them.
    I really hope that you’re doing well, and that God will hit you over the head! Seriously, I hope that He will let you know which direction you’re suppose to take soon. Take care Crystal and keep looking up!

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