Pug puppies and stuff like that

In a few weeks there will be little pug babies in our house again and in lots of way I am excited about it. It reminds me how much I love my puppies….each of them. All three of them have very unique personalities and yet they get alone so well and fit into our family. My Em is huge and there is no competition as to who is the biggest dog in town…..she would win hands down. She is huge, like 180 pounds huge, but the gentlest soul and she loves deeply. She never jumps up (it would be scary if she did) she never is loud, she is satisfied by just sitting in the same room as me. Mollie is exuberant, she loves to bark, loves to snort in your face but loves to sit my lap and has to touch me in some way shape or form all the time, she’s pregnant right now so she snores more, barks more and is touchy with the other dogs but she loves life and is such a happy dog. Then there is my little boo, my nickname for Abby…..she is tiny and huggable and is such a happy dog………..loves to play, chase balls……….chase the kids around but loves to sleep on my lap and is just plain cute. People always bugged me as to why I didn’t have more kids and the fact of the matter is that my dogs are like my kids, a huge part of my family and give me great amount of comfort. My kids, as much as I love them, make me want to tear my hair out most of the time. They are going to be teenagers soon and it amazes me every day how much they change. The one thing I can count on with my dogs is that they will always stay the same.
Maybe that is why I like them so much……..I realised recently that I have control issues and everything that is out of my control, or my perceived control I am uncomfortable with.
Well Control issues are definately something I will need to deal with because I know that I am never really in control. God is definately a huge part of my life but I don’t release that control, the ultimate control to him. I know my life would be so much easier if I did but everyday I seem to take back that control that I am determined to release to him. Sometimes I hate my humaness. I also realise that I complain allot, and I just don’t like this person I have become.
there will be a day I hope that I like who I am but today is just not that day………
I guess that is it for today…..night all.

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